Volume XXXXVII

Dear Manager,

Does the eventual maturity of one’s management career also bring with it an eventual curse? We all know managers who have become stale with age. They have a tendency to hear much less, let alone see as well as they once could. These individuals have, shall we say, simply heard and seen enough!

Yes, experience is critical for all of us. It is what we learn that has the potential to protect us from making the same mistakes twice. This is a huge asset in a very competitive world. The problems begin when we rely too heavily upon the past, and take for granted the potential of a new business age. This may be the most difficult of all transitions for mature managers.

Fresh eyes can certainly be hard to maintain. Much of what we do can seem so similar to what we experienced in the past; same script … new cast of characters. While it is truly this experience that will save us, it can also sink the ship! Showing enthusiasm for the “first experience” of another will challenge our abilities to relate with others on a daily basis. Do you remember the first time you rode a bicycle without training wheels? I would bet you remember how important it was to you at the time. It was a significant moment!

So, too, are the first experiences of those around us. I remember how difficult it was for me to make the transition from full time sales to management. I still miss that consistent one-on-one personal victory, and even the setbacks, that are a part of the selling process. Once you have that selling fix, it’s very hard to get the monkey off your back. The emotional rush in sales when you know you have exceeded your wildest dreams is truly irresistible.

In contrast, as managers we begin to live through the victories of those we manage. Much like parents, we must bring our own sense of excitement and awareness to a level similar to those we manage. Only then can we truly share their current frame of reference. Our child’s first solo flight on a bicycle was undoubtedly similar in exhilaration to that of our own.

Yes, this freshness must be maintained if we are to continue to maintain our effectiveness as managers! Some days will be harder than others, and some days the rewards will exceed any that could have been accomplished as an individual.

THE EXPERIENCE FACTOR

From personal experience, I have found it to be exceedingly easy to judge those around me from the foundation of my experience, as compared to another’s frame of reference and their experience factor. If you think about this, it is simply human nature. All levels of experience are different from our own, yet our tendency is to hold others accountable to our own level of experience. Don’t they get it? Can’t they see it? It’s so obvious to me, it must be obvious to others. As managers, we cannot take for granted the experiences of those around us and the foundation for the decisions that they make.

It is common to hear conversations in which details of the mistakes others are making in their lives are being discussed. Criticism can be so pompous and so easy to dole out. If you think about it, the only way we could have these opinions of others is if we have personally experienced a similar situation. If this is true, how can we possibly be critical?

A great example is in the decisions of the heart made by those we love. A common dialogue might include, “This person is simply not right for them. They have to open their eyes, I just don’t want them to get hurt. Don’t they see what they are getting into, they deserve so much more…” and on and on.

We are all experts only because we have a much clearer vision from having made the same mistakes. Yet there truly are no mistakes, only learning exercises. In all likelihood, I would not have found the love of my life had I not built a foundation of past experience to recognize it. We still try to protect others from similar pain. We never listened, why would they?

Having recognized this, its application for management is very similar.
It is time to throw away criticism, a condescending attitude, and an all-knowing approach to business. We don’t have all the answers. If we did, they would not apply in all instances and for all individuals.

Each person’s experience and personal make up allows for as many different approaches to an objective. For example, I attended a sales meeting where the individual making the presentation took a startlingly different approach to the subject at hand. I would never have considered using the manner and thought process chosen by this speaker. I decided to simply sit back and watch the presentation play itself out.

In the end, the meeting was a great success, with a conclusion far better than I anticipated. I left feeling honored to have watched it unfold. I was a member of the right team! Gee, I love it when my all-knowing approach has been shattered. If there is always another way, then there will always be a better way!

These experiences consistently remind me to take a much more objective approach to most situations. We all have confidence in doing things “our way.” We must remember to leave space for those we manage in support of “their way.” Our own management experience, and our foundation for future decisions, depend on it!

ACKNOWLEDGING EXPERIENCE

As a teenager, do you remember thinking your parents were nuts? Some of us might even have concluded that adults didn’t understand, didn’t live in the real world, and were over-protective. With the experiences that brought us to adulthood (and our own set of close calls), their decisions now seem to be miraculously on target (most of the time) and in our best interest. Have you ever uttered a dreaded phrase used in similar situations by your own parents? It’s frightening. Yes, those in an experienced position may, on occasion, have a good idea.

Obviously, our single desire is to make only good decisions. Will our life experience allow this desire to always come true? Never. Our frame of reference is developed from our personal experiences, and those we share through others. Seldom will we listen to others and fully understand, let alone be wholly guided by, their perspective. Human nature suggests we have to find our own way. With this thought in mind, we can never hold others accountable to our own current frame of reference.

I recently heard a quote that applies exceedingly well to this topic. “We did then what we knew how to do. With what we know now, we can do better.” Oprah Winfrey

Personal Regards,

Keenan

INTERPERSONAL© is published by INTERPERSONALBIZ.COM, Keenan Longcor, Editor, ©2009. Duplication of this publication is permitted for both personal and business use. Excerpts may only be quoted with acknowledgment of INTERPERSONAL/INTERPERSONALBIZ.ORG as the source. For re-publication rights, please contact the editor at KEENAN@INTERPERSONALBIZ.COM