Interpersonal Business

Vol. XXXXIV

Dear Manager,

It is the fear of failure. It wreaks havoc on our outlook, personality and attitude. How can we reverse this destructive source of anxiety? The only way to slay the dragon is straight through the heart.

Yes, we grew up learning through our parents’ encouragement, and in full view of their own anxieties, that failure is one of the greatest fears known to man. A vision of THE POOR HOUSE on the hill, or life on the streets, can’t help but come to mind. Examples were often given of those individuals who unfortunately had not measured up in life. Positive reinforcement such as “being the best you can be,” was often synonymous with the mixed signal “you certainly wouldn’t want to be a disappointment!!” I remember the perceived pressures when I left college to live up to the expectation of “making something of myself.” Failure simply was not acceptable.

WHAT A BUNCH OF BALONEY!

I spent the next fifteen years believing I would be a disappointment if I failed. While my business grew slowly at first, it gained momentum as the years passed. I began taking success for granted. Everything I touched seemed to have a positive outcome. The worst aspect came when I began to believe in the praises and platitudes of others. I believed I had a golden touch. Without question, Keenan needed to fail … and he did!

I had started a second business that seemed to have the potential to be very lucrative. I invested heavily (how could it fail?), asked for very little assistance (I certainly didn’t need it) and went on my merry way.

Within two years, I was tapped. I had to make payroll off of credit card advances. 1985 was a very, very long and difficult year. This time in my life was very significant. The lessons learned, while expensive, were the best real life education I had ever had. I learned a healthy respect for failure. There was no question that my business skills would need to improve. I continue to challenge these skills daily.

I am convinced that humans need to fail – to crash and burn – at least once in their life. Until our limits are tested in the good and difficult times, we will never realize our full potential. How can anyone fully comprehend success without having tasted the agony of defeat?! It takes great courage to fail!

I have always believed that we, as managers, are doing a great disservice to our staff by providing an environment with little opportunity for challenge and growth. In doing so, we are sending them the message that they’d better not fail. We must create an environment for success with a full understanding that failure is part of the process. Success and failure are often just inches apart. What greater reward for a manager than to assist others in bouncing back from difficult times?

We have all read of the countless failures endured by the great inventors and industrial giants of years gone by. The ultimate test is not the fact that they had initially failed. It is their resiliency, tenacity and personal resolve to pick themselves up and make as many attempts as required for success. We will never read inspiring stories about individuals who “almost got it right.”

How many of life’s lessons can be learned through success? Child stars and young professional athletes often have the world by the tail. Very few truly understand themselves and their true impact on humanity, let alone their future. I can’t find any courage in this equation. With maturity and good fortune, they will survive some tough times. If not, I hope they have a strong parent or friend who will give them a verbal smack “upside the head.” It is their only hope.

We only learn the most valuable skills through failure. There is no why in success, there is only why in failure. There are very few lessons in success, only in failure. Failure is a very personal moment. It demands that we analyze our circumstances, scramble to pick up the pieces, and develop the patience to deal with our difficult circumstances. It demands the best of us.

So, why have generations continued to agonize over the fear of failure? I believe there are two reasons. First, failure is plain old embarrassing. It takes strength to admit that you’ve made a mistake. Everyone will know! I will state this again, for it is absolutely the truth. In creating an environment in which having failed makes one a failure, we will ultimately surround ourselves with the lowest common denominator and stunt the growth of our companies.

Unlikely as it may seem, I believe the second factor contributing to the anxiety of failure can be a very clear and obvious fear of success! Some individuals may not feel worthy, and mediocrity is a safe harbor! The responsibilities that accompany success can seem too great a price to pay. A person may be uncomfortable with the notoriety, the attention, and of subsequent future failure. Yes, there is also courage in success.

It is time for all of us to banish the anxieties related to failure and success. Emotions related to these anxieties are old news and a personal choice.

TAKE PRIDE IN YOUR FAILURE

With any luck at all, we will each experience times of failure in our lives. The first experience is the most difficult. Confidence and satisfaction are developed through overcoming adversity. Subsequent challenges will be approached with an increased sense of power. An “I survived once, I can certainly do it again!” attitude will prevail.

Fear is the very worst of all motivators. Acceptance of the inevitable roadblocks in our careers, along with a measure of confidence, will assist us at every turn. Our long term health and sense of fulfillment is incumbent upon our ability to survive a periodic stubbed toe.

As effective managers, we must be able to address and accept failure in ourselves and in all of those around us. I’d hire a qualified individual who had experienced and overcome failure, in every instance, over the individual who had not! Ownership of our own failures allows us to build upon the past, and understand the failure of others. It is our lot “of” life.

Personal Regards,

Keenan

INTERPERSONAL© is published by INTERPERSONALBIZ.COM, Keenan Longcor, Editor, ©2009. Duplication of this publication is permitted for both personal and business use. Excerpts may only be quoted with acknowledgment of INTERPERSONAL/INTERPERSONALBIZ.ORG as the source. For re-publication rights, please contact the editor at KEENAN@INTERPERSONALBIZ.COM

Vol. XXXXI

Dear Manager,

The fundamental difference between the “Haves” and the “Have-Nots” is a very positive mental attitude combined with the power to believe. Most would agree that these are, indeed, important qualities. Why do so few consistently incorporate these principals into their daily lives? Don’t expound about virtue while complaining about the ways of the world! Is it possible that some individuals cannot hear their own voice? Flipping the switch of positive and negative energy to support one’s current frame of mind simply won’t get the job done.

Over thirty years ago I had the opportunity to read a book that would forever change my outlook on the power of one’s belief system. This book (which is still in print) was given to me by a friend I greatly admired. With his writing of The Magic of Believing in the 1940’s, Claude Bristol was a pioneer in his day, long before Norman Vincent Peale, Tony Robbins, and others. This short book told the story of the author’s life and the profound impact of one’s own belief system in one’s life. With brief chapters he proved, without question, that The Magic of Believing was available in abundance to all of us! How can a story such as this maintain its relevance for nearly eighty years?

One of the foundations of this simple story is the proven fact that the mind does not recognize the difference between thought and deed. In other words, we are precisely what we think about. If we think of ourselves in the most positive terms, we are that. If we think of ourselves in the most negative terms, we are that. Thought becomes reality!

In a simple exercise, Bristol suggests visualizing a successful outcome prior to your next important meeting. Think in very specific terms of the positive energy you feel as you walk through that door. Picture being greeted by smiling individuals who appreciate your time. These individuals will be very receptive to your presentation and more than willing to give you their full consideration. Imagine feeling totally relaxed, confident and prepared for any and all questions.

Can you imagine how relaxed and better prepared you will feel under these conditions? Once again, thought is reality. Our minds cannot tell the difference between having actually accomplished the task and simply having visualized each aspect. Like a dream, it becomes very, very real. Think how much easier your meeting will become knowing it is the second time you have given this exact presentation?! In this instance, reality becomes the result of thought.

Have you ever watched a golfer, high jumper or skater visualize effort prior to their performance? The golfer will stand over his putt “watching” the course of the ball as it falls into the hole. The high jumper will mark every step in his mind, feel the breeze against his face with each stride, and watch his own form crossing the bar. The ice skater will visualize their program from the sidelines. With a bob and weave of their head, they will anticipate every jump and spin. I wouldn’t be surprised if they can even hear the applause of the crowd! Now it’s simply a matter of accomplishing the task, not for the first time in these exact circumstances, but for the second time in these exact circumstances.

In recent years, forty individuals were asked to meet at a gym to test this visualization theory. With little knowledge of the day’s plan, they were split into two groups, one at each end of the floor. Each member of the group was asked to shoot twenty free throws, making as many baskets as they could. The two groups made well below 50% of their shots.

One group was sent home, asked not to practice, but to come back again in two weeks. The second group was also asked to return in two weeks and not to practice shooting the ball. However, the second test group was asked to do one additional thing for the two week period. As they went to bed each night they were asked to visualize standing at the line and bring back the feelings of making their shots. The greater the detail in their thought, the better. They were to imagine feeling the ball in their hands, bouncing the ball at their feet, almost feeling the dampness of their hands. In their imagination, each night they would watch the ball leave their hands, spinning towards the hoop, and swish … 100% success!

After two weeks the test groups returned to make their twenty shots. Little had changed in the first group, but they did improve slightly from their previous effort. Similar to this group, no one in the second group had touched a ball in the two week period. Each member stepped up to the line to make their shots. The accuracy and success rate increased by a full 50% over their first effort, and the efforts of the first test group! Simple mental practice and confidence had provided the second test group with a decided advantage.

Have you ever walked out of a successful meeting so excited you could almost fly? Every aspect of your presentation had gone well, and far beyond all of your expectations! You could hardly contain your exuberance and enthusiasm for your good fortune. You could hardly wait for your second meeting of the day, because nothing could dampen your spirits. As you walked out the door you may have thought to yourself, “Let’s just see how hot I am.”

You very likely found out. The sense of energy and excitement rubbed off throughout the balance of your day. The sense of confidence you portrayed was infectious to all who came into contact with you. You had the walk! Our self-image and how we project ourselves is crucial to peak performance.

In contrast, have you ever anticipated having a successful meeting that very early on simply fell apart? Your preparation turned out all wrong and you left doubting whether the business relationship could even be saved. With your head in your hands, you proceeded to your next meeting. Did you allow your shattered confidence to affect your next appointment?

These examples graphically suggest the value of a positive belief system and how, with practice, we are in absolute control of thought, outcome, and our own destiny. You must learn to develop and maintain “your walk” regardless of the most recent circumstances.

Just like our successful free throw shooters, practice is required on a daily basis. Our belief system is as reliable as we allow it to be. It is not a perfect world, and never will be, yet is there any value in dwelling on something less than a positive outlook?

I am convinced that if individuals objectively listened to both their self-talk and their verbal communications, there would be no doubt which qualities manage their life. Deed and execution are the result of thought, not the reverse! We cannot be defined by what we do, we are purely and simply a reflection of our thought process, period.

The transition of our belief system and attitude can be a slow process or, for those with the desire and discipline to see it through, an exciting and very fulfilling process. Writing down one’s thoughts can be the best way to clarify and define your current thought process. It can also reflect your progress over a period of time. Perfection is an unrealistic dream. Progress can become our new best friend.

Personal Regards,

Keenan

INTERPERSONAL© is published by INTERPERSONALBIZ.COM, Keenan Longcor, Editor, ©2009. Duplication of this publication is permitted for both personal and business use. Excerpts may only be quoted with acknowledgment of INTERPERSONAL/INTERPERSONALBIZ.ORG as the source. For re-publication rights, please contact the editor at KEENAN@INTERPERSONALBIZ.COM

Vol. XXXX

Dear Manager,

Based on the many correlations I have drawn between sports and business, one might assume that I have enjoyed an illustrious relationship with competitive sports. Unfortunately, I was young for my grade and washed out of organized team sports after my freshman year. I have since enjoyed individual sports, re-living the elusive dramatic moves of my youth, though only my wife shows enthusiasm for my occasional success. My greatest understanding of sport has come from business…

Like it or not, we are all competitors. We all aspire to be one of the best at what we do, for some … it’s to be a champion. The essential aspects of life, nourishment, housing and simple pleasures, all require that we compete. It is a burning desire that motivates all of us. Take that burning desire, increase its intensity ten-fold, and you can begin to understand the heart of a champion. We can all learn from this intensity, regardless of our desire to embrace the many demands and sacrifices required.

Yes, there is a price to being a champion. Champions can be very one dimensional in nature. Outside their area of expertise it may even be difficult for them to carry on a conversation. Relationships often suffer; one’s self-serving, driving sense of accomplishment may not be at the top of another’s list of priorities. We have all seen the down side risk, yet are still intrigued by a champion.

SHOW ME THE EYE OF A CHAMPION

Have you ever noticed the eyes of a Champion? In a competitive environment, and without a single word, their eyes will reflect an intense resolve and quiet confidence. These individuals have a clear respect for their competition. Rarely will the voice of a champion feel the need to boast, let alone justify their greatness. Those who do must back it up with achievement. Performance is the only standard. It is the single voice of their accomplishment.

A. The quiet confidence of a Champion is founded on the premise that we all compete on a level playing field. We all enjoy an equal opportunity to enjoy greatness. Certainly we all enjoy varied strengths and weaknesses, just like those of a Champion! It’s not that this life provides only a few of us with shortcomings. A Champion looks to how she or he can enhance and take even greater advantage of their strengths, while at the same time minimizing their vulnerability and improving upon their weaknesses.

B. The belief system of a Champion is something to behold. Does the Pope believe? Let me tell you, so does the Champion! With every fiber of their spirit, this individual believes in the ability to ultimately control the outcome. Will there be major road blocks? Will there be nay-sayers? Will there be setbacks? Count on it. These individuals understand adversity, and cut through to the heart of the obstacle!

C. These individuals take nothing for granted. I would go so far as to say they live with a real sense of paranoia relating to their competition. They have personally found the keys to the gates of greatness … others must be in hot pursuit!?! (Butterflies are simply an additional motivational tool.) Discipline at its highest level can best describe their work habits. In the back of their mind they can’t help wondering who might be working to close the gap …while they sleep.

D. These individuals have thrown out all previously accepted standards relating to work ethic. These individuals reach for infinite performance. Did anyone ever believe we’d break a four minute mile or add another revolution to a double lutz? Clearly there are no boundaries! These individuals understand one of their greatest advantages is the competition’s willingness to accept current standards relating to greatness.

E. A Champion is a great daydreamer. A complete visualization carries him or her thorough the rough spots. This individual will often lose all sense of reality between the feelings of future accomplishment and the feelings of actual accomplishment after the fact. A sixth sense develops that allows them to genuinely feel the other five senses in advance of the accomplishment. These individuals can smell it … they can taste it!

F. Finally, these individuals understand the only true competition. It can be found in their own personal resolve and in the depths of their own spirit. Nothing will come between their human ability to succeed and their ultimate success. These individuals assume full and total control for the results. A day of less than their own standards of perfection is of their own doing, and a result of choices they have made.

Very few in life will accept the sacrifices demanded by peak performance. There is no divine or personal responsibility to do so. Can you possibly imagine the log jam at the top? We can all learn a great deal from the heart of a champion. Being a student of those at the top is the first step toward bridging the gap. We’ve all seen individuals take a shot at those who have attained higher performance than themselves. It’s much safer to minimize and cheapen the accomplishments of others than to acknowledge one’s own shortcomings.

We would all like to hold the brass ring at least once in our lifetime! The keys to our own Championship are in our ability to identify our own shortcomings, put aside all ego and insecurities, and rush to the front of the line to …

… LEARN FROM THE VERY BEST

There is such a huge resource available if we wish to become a student of our chosen profession. It is much easier to become complacent with our own acceptable levels of accomplishment. Watch for speakers of distinction, take additional training, read biographies of those you admire. Search out the assistance of individuals through whom you can find personal growth. Buy them lunch once a month, hire them as a coach or personal assistant, ask probing questions dealing with areas of contrasting approach and style. What better investment could an individual make?

There is not a reader (or author) reading this today that does not have their own bag of shortcomings. It’s time, once and for all, to drive a Mack truck through them. This is the heart of a Champion, this is the difference between losing and being a loser … winning and being a winner.

Personal Regards,

Keenan

INTERPERSONAL© is published by INTERPERSONALBIZ.COM, Keenan Longcor, Editor, ©2009. Duplication of this publication is permitted for both personal and business use. Excerpts may only be quoted with acknowledgment of INTERPERSONAL/INTERPERSONALBIZ.ORG as the source. For re-publication rights, please contact the editor at KEENAN@INTERPERSONALBIZ.COM

Vol. XXXIX

Dear Manager,

The hiring of one’s staff is the most important aspect of management. It is as close as we get to a treasure hunt, with the gold just a single and fortuitous interview away. A quality staff is a very positive reflection of our business. Will we always hit pay dirt in the hiring process? No. I am convinced, however, that while market conditions play a significant role there are always strong candidates in pursuit of meaningful opportunity. The worst possible reaction to challenging times is to lower the standards established by current staff members.

The hiring process is not what it once was, yet the fundamentals have survived decades of economic and market transition. In a tight job market, the number of quality applicants can often be reduced; the opposite can also be true dependant on the job market. Does this mean we will settle or will we become single-minded in the process to ensure success? Is there an insurance policy available should we crash and burn?!

I can remember once being in the position of needing to hire two new associates simultaneously. After having spent many weeks in my hiring endeavors, I was prepared to offer positions to two outstanding applicants. It seemed so simple and so right when they accepted the positions. Equally as simply, a week later they both changed their minds!

One of the positions had been offered to an individual whose soon-to-be former employer offered her increased salary, flex hours, a bonus, and stock options if she were to reconsider. The second position was offered to a very successful industry veteran who realized that her heart just wasn’t in it anymore and it was “time to do something different.” Even though their commitments to me had been sincere (and their training completed) they had no choice but to reevaluate their situation. I accepted both decisions with a dose of understanding and an equal dose of disappointment.

Certainly there were second place finishers in the original interview process, and pressure was building to fill these positions. Will second best meet the long-term needs of the organization? Is second best simply an easy way out of a more difficult scenario? Is it better to have a vacant position or a long-term commitment to mediocrity?

With an even greater commitment to success I began the process in earnest … all over again. The second search created a new set of demands, as the normal grace period had passed (at least from my own perspective and sense of urgency). The challenge became my resolution to be patient, complete my original objective, and compete for the best.

TARGET THE INDIVIDUAL

First, define the qualities you are looking for in this individual. Begin with the review of similar qualities that you admire in other members of your staff. Write them down and begin to envision them in the individual you are attracting to your organization. Never, never compromise on these fundamentals.

Supply and demand dictate all business markets. Is what you are offering CURRENTLY competitive with market conditions? Is your salary and bonus package aggressive in finding only the best? If you offer commissioned positions, is your commission structure and selling package attractive as compared to similar companies in your industry? In other words, are you looking for a miracle?

WHAT IS THE MARKET OFFERING?

Are you accurately and effectively promoting the benefits, advantages “and virtues” of working with your organization? Be knowledgeable about the advantages you can provide as compared to competitors and the job market as a whole. We should never have to hard-sell a position with our company to anyone. Without question, we should be candid and objective about who and what our organization is and has to provide.

Pre-screen your prospective applicants. There is nothing worse than wasting your valuable time, let alone the time of a poorly qualified applicant. With just a few minutes on the phone, their attitudes and qualifications can be defined.

Have you checked out the best in the industry? Compile an on-going list of top applicants for current and future review. Speak with business associates, fellow staff members and customers to find out who is the best-of-the-best in the marketplace. In a casual conversation at a recent trade show I was given the name of an outstanding salesperson who had just put themselves on the job market (I hired her!). A more aggressive approach to your own research is imperative in all employment markets. In a strong employment market, individuals who understand their value will go shopping.

Have you considered hiring from within? There are surely individuals in your organization who have the proven capacity and abilities to reach for new heights. You never want to reward average performance with additional responsibility, yet the best you have should be considered for increased opportunities.

It has become apparent that the market has begun to provide very highly skilled individuals who wish to work on a part-time basis. These individuals are former full-time professionals who have begun to feel stagnant and are looking for a challenging position that meshes with their changing needs. Due to family and other considerations, flexibility in hours has now become their priority.

The question becomes, can you structure the position(s) to use this dynamic resource? The quality of work produced by highly motivated part-time employees can be simply outstanding. You might even find that these individuals succeed beyond their full-time counterparts. Their professional history dictates their drive and commitment. Why not consider two part-time positions for your next full-time opening?

Are you prepared to meet with an applicant a second or third time? I’m the first to admit that on occasion my gut has told me in less than five minutes that the perfect applicant is in clear view. Let’s face it, the interviewing process is little more than a dance. Expectations are uncertain, and the first interview provides an hour or so to share what you believe the other wants to hear. Only in a second interview can all parties begin to address their honest concerns and expectations.

The quickest route to failure in any new working relationship is in the lack of adequate, formalized training. I am consistently amazed by the number of sales people asked to fend for themselves with NO initial training. Our greatest opportunity for impact with a new individual is in the very first days and weeks of the relationship. A sizable portion of our investment must come on the front end. In addition to your own commitment, ask for the assistance of those who can enthusiastically teach others the fundamentals, details and essence of exactly how to be the best at what they do.

Let the treasure hunt begin. Yes, the current market has indeed changed. We all have the opportunity to compete for the best. Or, we can settle and rationalize that a very difficult job market has ravaged our business. As in all aspects of management, the choice becomes ours. I recently read a terrific quotation relating to management and this exact scenario. “In business the general rule is that people bet on the jockey, not on the horse.”

Personal Regards,

Keenan

INTERPERSONAL© is published by INTERPERSONALBIZ.COM, Keenan Longcor, Editor, ©2009. Duplication of this publication is permitted for both personal and business use. Excerpts may only be quoted with acknowledgment of INTERPERSONAL/INTERPERSONALBIZ.ORG as the source. For re-publication rights, please contact the editor at KEENAN@INTERPERSONALBIZ.COM